How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Here!

An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your fingers. Or, should you choose my dulcet tones, take heed to together with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn via my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind after I virtually unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to turn into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You could possibly name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about unintentionally happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle via my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it could not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the incorrect finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it obtained to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a trip via a decade of the inconceivable eventualities and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and continuously ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In reality I used to be particularly instructed, after I obtained the guide deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire elements that can doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods wherein I did not turn into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any state of affairs.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a fairly secure guess that you just’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so should you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I submit then please make it this one. I’ll be perpetually in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the guide and in regards to the means of writing it as a result of it has actually been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever achieved in my grownup life. When you’ve adopted me for some time you then’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely happy accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.